Eighteen months ago I discovered that my husband struggled with a drug addiction. We have been married 5 years and had what I thought was a good marriage. My husband is, a kind, caring man who was respected in our community and loved by his 3 year old daughter.
My husband is addicted to Vicodin and Percocet. I knew something was wrong but I had no idea what it was. I knew he drank but never realized the addiction that lay beneath. I still wonder how any of this could have happened. I ponder how everything could have spun so horribly out of control. There were signs of drug abuse. I saw drastic mood changes, there was an issue with money mysteriously disappearing from our bank accounts, and I couldn’t account for where he was. I thought being out of work for so long, depression had set in.
One night the police were in our neighborhood, he was up all night and did not sleep. After a few days he let me know he had a drug problem. I needed an explanation, only to hear the horrible stories of the abuse to painkillers that he was taking like they were pieces of candy. So, I told him that he needed to do the right thing. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. My husband is a drug addict, and his decisions and his disease ruined his life. You see, my husband’s disease touched everyone around him and wrapped its poisonous fingers around them. I was ruined; our daughter, our families and our friendships were ruined. But, there was some glimmer of hope. I believed that everything would be made right and that if I just stuck through it, there would be a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.
On April 23, 2010 my husband pled guilty and was sentenced to the following:
Larceny 4th, Burglary 3rd, Larceny 3rd, Burglary 3rd, Larceny 6Th, Burglary 3rd, Larceny 2nd, Larceny 3rd.
I know that the actions of my husband were wrong and know that he must pay for the crimes that he committed. These crimes hurt our closest friends, friends that we considered family. They were Aunts, Uncles, Grandma, and Grandpa to our daughter. We traveled together, shared some of the best occasions together included a special wedding party they gave to us and the birth of our daughter. We also shared sadness with one another when loved ones had past or tragedy had struck us. We had the keys to their homes to help care for there pets, water their plants and take in their mail. All of this has changed. They have become victims and have turned there back to us. They have chosen to no longer support or be part of our family. This experience and my husbands actions left everyone hurt and betrayed. To me this has become a tragedy that I wish myself and friends could have seen and saved my husband and the pain that has touched so many people. I feel like I gave my soul to love, and it has paid me back in change.
I vowed that this abuse, this addiction that afflicts my husband will NEVER touch my daughter again, or anyone else, for that matter, if I can help it. My husband is solely responsible for the crimes he committed and I see his remorse and shame everyday. There were times during this ordeal that he seriously considered suicide, and even suffered with bouts of depression, anger, bitterness and rage.
Our healing has been a very long journey, but I believe, my husband has revealed everything and is being honest with me. I feel our recovery thus far has been due to several things. On January 15th, 2009, he admitted himself to a detox program at Silver Hills Hospital. He than began an intensive out patient program at MCCA. He attended two Alcoholics Anonymous meetings a day. Through AA he realized he is a drug addict and an alcoholic and believed that AA meetings have saved his life. We would spend each morning together, talking daily to work through our emotions and my husband confessing what he had done and answering to my many questions. Professional counseling, reading books on drug addiction, and the support of good friends praying for us and helping us be accountable were also invaluable. I love him and I want our marriage to work. I am committed to making the relationship last, and willing to do the work. I will continue being at his side helping him deal with the pain, and humbly accepting the anger people feel over his betrayal. I look forward to the day that this problem is but a faint memory.
Today, my husband, spends all of his days at the Correctional Institute. He has had no professional counseling, no books to read or help with his drug addiction. Please help us. His drug and alcohol addiction caused physical and chemical changes to his brain. Once addicted, a person becomes nearly unable to fight against the disease without professional and, in some cases, medical assistance and supervision.
The National Library of Medicine estimates that some 20% of all people in the United States have used prescription medication for non-medical purposes. We’re not talking about cocaine, heroin or methamphetamine use, but doctor-prescribed medication. You can easily see that if you group the two together, illegal drug use and prescription drug misuse, we have a huge problem.
The news media reports daily struggles with theft, drive-by shootings, drug busts, illegal trafficking and manufacturing of drugs, and arrests for crimes ranging from child neglect to murder. Look closer and chances are great that you will uncover a drug addiction component to any of these stories.
Beyond the personal health issues, beyond the devastating effect on families, beyond community crime statistics, drug addiction has a major impact on the American economy. This total includes the cost of law enforcement, incarceration, treatments, traffic injuries, lost time in the workplace, etc. Drug addiction causes impaired reasoning, and therefore the crime rate is dramatically impacted by drug use. Addicts have a much higher likelihood of committing crimes than others.
My husband should not be incarcerated. He needed help with his drug addiction. I want to help him and he wants to help himself. He has already lost so much, family, friendships, his job and even our home. We are debt tens of thousands dollars. I believe we still have much work to do in our road to full recovery, but I am confident that we will continue to work until we are fully healed, the most difficult periods of our life is his battle with and ultimate victory over prescription painkillers. He struggles, it taught him valuable lessons about drug abuse that he will pass on. I think it has made him a better person as well as a better parent.
We have come a very long way. Our good marriage has become a great marriage. We are closer than ever and love each other more than either of us dreamed possible.
Please help my family. My husband earliest parole date is 2013. Please consider helping him to return home. This is a non-violent crime and he has no prior criminal history. The Pre-sentence Investigation Report plan discussed Restitution, Community Service and Probation. In addition, he would report to the Alternative Incarceration Center and continue meetings for his drug and alcohol addiction. We would consider using home confinement with GPS in lieu of incarceration. This could allow him to receive the proper treatment for his substance abuse.
My husband has signed up for many programs while he is incarcerated to help him, help him teach, and tell his story of addiction and how it has affected his life. Unfortunately, none of these programs have been available to him.
